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slowrider

Trencher
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Monique

bounceswoosh
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Living Proof

We All Have The Truth
Skier
Joined
Nov 9, 2015
Posts
955
Location
Avalon - On The Way to Cape May
Subject: Who Is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone, “You don’t know Jack Schitt!” Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intelligent way. Here is the family tree of Jack Schitt.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. This deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parent’s objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
 

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