Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Jenny]

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Tricia]

View attachment 23045

Maybe this is my new signature!!!
@hrstrat57 - what do you think?

 

[slowrider]

So it's Wednesday morning and I am rolling Eastbound towards the desert. Now there's a sportsmen.

 

[oldschoolskier]

Maybe this is my new signature!!!
@hrstrat57 - what do you think?

Only when you need to moderate and cast a spell. Should settle things down real quick

 

[Varmintmist]

How about a true ski story? One of pain and anguish?

In around 90-91 the not yet wife and I flew from PA to OR and stayed with a buddy of mine so we could go skiing. It was one of those years when Bachelor didnt get snow until later in the season and their base was 18 inches.

Well, we went to ski, so ski we did. It was heavy and wet and I took a header. Hurt my knee. I knew it didnt tear anything, it felt like I banged into something. Turned out to be a chunk of volcanic rock, joy. After a speech that could only be given by a Marine who grew up on a blacktop crew. I was melting the snow that was there, speaking in full sentences without the use of a single word that could be spoken to your grandma.

The inital shock wore off and I looked at my ski pants and saw a tear. Crap. Well I guess I should take a look at whats under these. Pulled the ski pants down and looked at my knee. Not the skin or meat covering the knee, the knee bone. Well poop I says to me. What does one do in a first aid situation?

This is where the Wife and Florence Nightingale really diverge in manner and ability to assimilate and deal with anything traumatic.

Well my buddy says I am going to get the ski patrol. I said thats a good idea. Next step, treat for shock right? I was a scout, I did some combat medic stuff, basic first aid stuff that EVERYONE knows. I lay down, elevate the leg and relax, treat for shock. I am comfy and just waiting on the orange sled...... or so I thought. The Not Yet Wife, started talking to me, went a lot like this...

NYW, "Did you see the size of the hole in your leg?"
Me, "yep"
pause
NYW. "There was a lot of blood."
Me "yep' (remember, treat for shock, keep patient calm and comfortable)
pause
NYW. "I cant believe the size of the hole in your leg"
Me, "I know, stop it"
pause
NYW. "I saw the bone."
Me. "I know, shut up."
pause
NYW. "That looks like it hurts a lot"
Me. "it does, shut up"
pause
NYW. "its bleeding a lot"
Me. "just shut up!"
pause
NYW ..........
Me "shut up"
pause
NYW .........
Me "shut up"

on and on and on and on until the ski patrol showed up like 15 min later. I literally got so mad I started laughing. I have never been so happy to be headed to the emergency room.

 

[Tricia]

 

[Dave Petersen]

From the web -

 

[hrstrat57]

Maybe this is my new signature!!!
@hrstrat57 - what do you think?

Nah that ain't u

"V H"

You've come to your senses on this =nice



Now you need a custom emoji

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Tricia]

Nah that ain't u

"V H"

You've come to your senses on this =nice



Now you need a custom emoji

Yeah, its not really me, but...
Did you know that the Velvet Hammer is a cocktail?
http://www.scienceofdrink.com/2007/11/23/velvet-hammer/langswitch_lang/en/

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Mikey]

Now on to potty humor.

speaking of potty humor. This commercial just cracks me up.

 

[oldschoolskier]

speaking of potty humor. This commercial just cracks me up.

LOL

Soft ice cream will never be the same.

 

[Jilly]

I'm sure Dairy Queen will add sprinkles for you!!

 

[T-Square]

Could the last part of that commercial be considered child abuse?

And I refuse to use the imoji. Oops!

 

[oldschoolskier]

Could the last part of that commercial be considered child abuse?

And I refuse to use the imoji. Oops!

Depends on your kids, the way I feel about mine at the moment it's a just and fitting reward .

 

[Mikey]

The marketing guys must have done their brainstorming session for that commercial in Colorado


With the British accents and completely off the wall content, I thought it was a British company, but it's an American company!

 

[Jilly]

I remember it on Shark Tank.