Alterra's Lotto System for 2020-2021

[FKA_SquawAlpine]

Dear Valued Pass Holders,

We know that Vale has just announced their pass policy. Most of our C-Suite is working on our renaming, so we plan on copying Vale’s policy, word for word. We know that no pass holders actually ski and the locals only buy lift tickets on powder days. This means we can reduce our lift staff by 50%! Please enjoy the horrendously crowded tram, funitel, and lift lines. Remember to maintain 6 feet apart in these enclosed spaces. We hope to see you on the slopes this 2020-2021 season!

See more updates at http://formerlyknownassquawalpine.com/

 

[raytseng]

Meh,
Purely as a critique of the comedy writing it's like a C- / D.

If you're going to stretch it out for more than 1 sentence, you need more jokes, not just the same single joke over and over again. Usually you'd have a premise, setup, punchline; or at least elaborations on the premise.
With effectively written satire, most importantly, the last line to be a punchline has to be an extra twist or absurdity rather than the same joke or expected joke. In this case, the last line isn't even a joke, its completely wasted.

I reading you pick up a book on joke writing or read some articles on how to write a comedy to learn and understand the fundamentals and theory of a joke, before you just go out on your own. Yes it may be a predictable structure, but the structured "joke" works for a reason. Unless you are a comedy prodigy, where your comedy is so groundbreaking and unique that you don't need to follow rules, you will benefit from knowing the theory of writing a joke.
They say if you have to explain a joke it's not funny, but in this case, maybe you need to take a step back to try to explain to yourself why each sentence is funny.
You can also really break down and analyze some of your favorite articles from the Onion, especially older articles in terms of structure and purpose of each sentence; I think they crafted this format much better than other "satire" sites.

 

[pchewn]

Is the misspelling of Vail (Vale) deliberate?

 

[raytseng]

yea, it's bad comedy. it adds nothing to the joke. At best I'm analyzing he's trying to allude that Alterra executives are inept and can't spell.
But that wasn't ever really a established concept that Alterra executives are bad spellers or "dumb". It would be like this joke: "Your momma is so fat, she spells Vail, V-a-l-e." doesn't work.

The stereotypes instead would be that they are profit motivated Numbercrunchers, or in this case overly PC executives, they live in ivory castles, they gobble up small resorts; not that they are bad spellers.

 

[fatbob]

Ah deconstructing comedy. Wait til we get to multiyear callbacks and provoking your audience with anti-jokes.

Anyway the core joke is that Alterra will just cut n paste Vail's policy which they probably will more or less though it is vastly more complicated with more affiliated partners. I'd think this is one time when they have been talking quite closely as it is in no-one's interest to have an escalation war on lack of restrictions.

As an aside wonder if as a result Ikon will end up less restrictive for certain users - what if you hold a 7 day res for each of JH, Altabird, Aspen, Copper, Big Sky before you even get to Alterra portfolio resorts?

 

[Wasatchman]

Well, I feel a bit bad for @FKA_SquawAlpine and the tough critiques.

But if you're going for comedy as your first post, you gotta come out a little stronger than that.

Nevertheless, welcome to pugski. Hope you stick around and didn't just join up for that only to disappear into the ether.

But yeah, Ikon still got some work to do before they realize their dream of full on Vail clone.

 

[raytseng]

lol, yea sorry if I came out a little harsh, but I think all my criticism and advice is still valid though, although perhaps it was blunt. Good luck in your comedy career.
If you are looking for an audience for ski-specific humor, this would be the place, and where to try out your material.

 

[Philpug]

I guess if you are going to try come in with humor, you better bring your A-Game. The website could use some work too...maybe some charts and graphs and a GIF that goes PINGGGGGG.

 

[crgildart]

Gif that goes PIIIING! LOL All this time aI thought they were saying BIIING!

 

[coskigirl]

Quality of comedy aside, I'd prefer if someone who has posted twice and both times linked to an external website (which I'm not willing to click on) would introduce themselves and tell us what the website is about.