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oldschoolskier

Making fresh tracks
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Ontario Canada
Having had my dad do this on my birthday and being the one to go look for him I think I may add some insight be it athelete or not.

1. There are warning signs, the problem is unless you see all of them they mean nothing, especially if the person has the right things going for them and has given no prior indication. It is easy to piece together these signs after the fact.

2. Making your own peace with this happening is important, or you will head down the same path. Get outside help so that you can grieve and more importantly not feel guilty.

3. Finally, the phrase "time heals" is very true, understand it is a long time. For me it's 15 years and I still have moments, looking back though they are few and far between compared to the initial years where making it to the next day was the operative word.

As to the motivation to go in this direction, I'm at a loss, my feeling is fear (leading to despair) of something is the greatest driver of this, support your friends and family (get the same in return) and this fear seems to deminish and this path never opens.

My two cents, and for those that feel the need to console me, no need, my sharing (and maybe helping someone) helps me.

Help dispell the fear and dispair (at the right moment) for someone and this won't happen. Being understanding cost nothing and does a million.

Sorry if I caused any tears,

Cheers,
:hug:
 

socalgal

Making fresh tracks
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Too everyone who has shared, thank you.
 
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TS
Tricia

Tricia

The Velvet Hammer
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When I started this thread, talking about the extreme highs of being an elite athlete, and finding purpose after the goals have been reached and the spotlight is dimming, I had no idea that it would become what it is, and what it is becoming.

It is a difficult and necessary discussion.
Not to be flip about it, but this is where #skitalk meets another dimension.
Inspired people inspire people.

Stay inspired.
 

eok

Slopefossil
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It's just tough to 110% commit your life to a sport, perform/compete at a high level and then have it suddenly taken from you or (probably worse) dissolve away in agonizing slow motion. I can't tell you how many athletes I've known who (for various reasons) ended up on the outside looking in - no longer able to perform as they did. The reasons are endless: injury, aging, substance abuse, lack of $$$, losing the passion or simply losing the fine edge that seemed to always put them on top. Sadly, watched some internalize their decline and "disconnect" from the culture ( presumably because they felt "less than"). For others, they seemed to fall into a deep dark hole because they never really planned for what comes after their peak is over. It's like they felt their life was completely over.

My son competed in downhill MTB for a number of years. He started very young and we became pretty embedded in the culture. By his teens he was competing nationally. It was a very tough job for me as a parent to keep his race/life balance healthy. That is: education was always a priority. As was reality: made sure that he understood that "this can't last forever"; that he needed a "life plan". I mean, seriously, downhill MTB racing really takes it's toll. Plus, forget a future as a "Pro". The field is so broad, yet the sponsorship/purse $$$ is so limited. Anyway, amazingly, it worked. When he had to pull the plug on his racing he finished up in school and launched his career. He's doing fine now.

But I'll tell you, a number of his fellow competitors really didn't plan for "what comes after". They're in their late 20s (or even 30s) now and seemingly adrift. Some are truly having a very tough time coming to terms with life.

I'm a "senior" and have lost a number of friends/acquaintances/co-workers - a few to suicide. One friend comes to mind. None of us had any clue (I worked alongside her every day for years). There were no immediate signs. But, after the fact, the signs became apparent. One clearly stood out: she was an absolute perfectionist in just about every way. But there were seemingly minor things happening in her life that were outside her control that kept tormenting her because they upset her quest for perfection. Life tends to do that. But for her it was too much to bear.

The quest for perfectionism is a common trait in top athletes. They wrap their entire lives around that quest, focusing all their energy and desire on it. From my experience (and from my experiences with other athletes in this regard) the quest is filled with intervals of exhilaration and feelings of "living life to the fullest" (yes, and feeling like crap when you blow it). Yank that all away from a high-performing athlete and it's like you've ripped out their heart.
 

AmyPJ

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When I started this thread, talking about the extreme highs of being an elite athlete, and finding purpose after the goals have been reached and the spotlight is dimming, I had no idea that it would become what it is, and what it is becoming.

It is a difficult and necessary discussion.
Not to be flip about it, but this is where #skitalk meets another dimension.
Inspired people inspire people.

Stay inspired.
I agree.
Thank YOU for inspiring me to know that I was going to be OK! I still have to tell myself that a LOT.

Some pretty amazing comments on this thread, and very amazing people in this community!
 

oldschoolskier

Making fresh tracks
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Joined
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Posts
4,229
Location
Ontario Canada
When I started this thread, talking about the extreme highs of being an elite athlete, and finding purpose after the goals have been reached and the spotlight is dimming, I had no idea that it would become what it is, and what it is becoming.

It is a difficult and necessary discussion.
Not to be flip about it, but this is where #skitalk meets another dimension.
Inspired people inspire people.

Stay inspired.

Until you are directly involved, it is an abstract and avoided topic. Those that have been touched by it (and came out ok) realize that it should be more open, however it always seems a taboo topic.

Tricia, your concern about skiers opened a discussion that should be held (better yet shouted out at the top of our lungs).

If what you started here saves one (skier or not) the biggest shout goes out to you.

DOUBLE :thumb:

If we ever meet I'll buy you a drink for this one (Phil too).
 

oldschoolskier

Making fresh tracks
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Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Posts
4,229
Location
Ontario Canada
I agree.
Thank YOU for inspiring me to know that I was going to be OK! I still have to tell myself that a LOT.

Some pretty amazing comments on this thread, and very amazing people in this community!
It is ok to reach out to friends (publicly or privately).

Remember what you do brings cheer to our lives, hopefully we do the same too you.

We all add something important even if we don't understand what it is.

Hopefully you'll (and those that need) count me as one of the friends that count (among a few others on this site).

Cheers
G
 

AmyPJ

Skiing the powder
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It is ok to reach out to friends (publicly or privately).

Remember what you do brings cheer to our lives, hopefully we do the same too you.

We all add something important even if we don't understand what it is.

Hopefully you'll (and those that need) count me as one of the friends that count (among a few others on this site).

Cheers
G
Thanks, OSS!
 

Lauren

AKA elemmac
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I don't have a ton to add to this discussion, but wanted to say that everyone has really brought to light a tough topic, and thank you for sharing your personal stories.

On the athlete side of things, I would highly recommend the HBO documentary the Crash Reel. I'm not going to lie, it's one of those documentaries that made me cry more than once, and really makes you think about your own decisions and your relationship with skiing.

It's about snowboarder Kevin Pearce; the guy that rivaled Shaun White, and was destined to make the podium at the 2010 Winter Olympics. IMO, it was his rivalry with Shaun that pushed snowboarding to new levels. In 2009 he suffered a TBI. The documentary tells the story of Kevin before his injury, takes you through him re-learning everything after the injury and documents the difficulties he goes through regarding the changes of lifestyle that he is now forced into. It's truly a touching story about how his life revolved around snowboarding, and his journey to find a new purpose in life after the fact.
 
Thread Starter
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Tricia

Tricia

The Velvet Hammer
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Joined
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27,298
Location
Reno
Until you are directly involved, it is an abstract and avoided topic. Those that have been touched by it (and came out ok) realize that it should be more open, however it always seems a taboo topic.

Tricia, your concern about skiers opened a discussion that should be held (better yet shouted out at the top of our lungs).

If what you started here saves one (skier or not) the biggest shout goes out to you.

DOUBLE :thumb:

If we ever meet I'll buy you a drink for this one (Phil too).
You actually made me tear up with this post. (good tears)
cry1.gif


Something that came out of this discussion for me.
We're living in a world of social media where people have grown accustomed to talking at people and the listening part has diminished to an extent.
The hashtag #iamlistening for suicide prevention month has made an impression on me that its time to listen more and preach less.
 

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